Every vault protocol promises yield, fee-routing and "no operator keys." $POOPPONS is the only one that actually delivers a physical product on schedule — via a chrome cat, direct to the sidewalk.
Live-ish. Self-graded. Nobody has stopped us yet.
Three things you're trusting your bags to.
Chrome-plated, unaudited, self-appointed Head of Reserve Production. Has never explained where the metal came from. Does not take questions. Delivers on a schedule known only to itself, which is, for a vault protocol, apparently industry standard.
Labelled "vault yield." Contents unknown, non-refundable, allegedly nootropic. Community consensus is that swallowing it is a metaphor. A worryingly large minority disagrees.
No operator keys. No permission needed. No idea what's actually backing this. Fees become a rule; the rule becomes fertilizer; the fertilizer becomes, well, see above. Fully permissionless, in the sense that nobody asked for any of this.
Four steps. No operator keys required. No refunds either.
Phantom, Backpack, whatever's on your phone. This part is genuinely not a joke.
Buy SOL on any exchange and send it to your wallet. The vault only accepts real deposits.
Paste the CA into your favorite DEX / pump.fun, swap, confirm. The cat has already started.
Vault delivers on its own schedule. Do not attempt to audit the process yourself.
Pulled from DexScreener once the CA exists. Until then, these are placeholders — we're not making up numbers.
Waiting on CONFIG.CA in script.js — plug in the real contract once it's minted and this updates itself.